Double O Countdown: Octopussy

I have a fondness for this film that is out of proportion to it’s qualities. That fondness may stem from the circus theme, the Cold War plot, or maybe it is the Indian setting that dominates the movie. Anyway, this was the last good Roger Moore 007 outing. It went head to head with the Sean Connery starring “Never Say Never Again” rogue film in 1983, and it was the box office champ in that showdown. I like the posters for the movie as well. If you are interested in a post I did on the film for a blogathon last year, just click here. 

 001 The Clown Prince of James Bond Actors

Roger Moore just seems like a good sport to me. He was willing to make the movie the director and producers wanted, and he did not mind taking one for the team. As proof I offer the following.

Can you imagine Daniel Craig letting this happen to him?

Another 00 gets tracked down and killed early in the movie, trying to escape dressed as a clown. He manages to deliver the MacGuffin of the film, a Faberge Egg.

Late in the film, 007 needs to also blend into thecircus background he finds himself in, and lo and behold, he is done up the way the other agent was. Holy bookends! Well anyway it works for the story and the image of Bond saving the day from nuclear destruction as a clown probably fits most critics views of James Bond to begin with.

I give them credit for chutzpah anyway.

002 The Flying Guillotine

The only place I’d ever heard of a weapon like this was in some crazy Kung Fu movies from the 1970s. It may not make much sense but it is a lot of fun.

003 The Pre-Title Mini Jet

The opening of the film is an entirely self contained story that has nothing to do with the main plot. Bond is up to some spy business in Cuba and has to escape. Fortunately, he has a RV that he is towing which is perfect for the moment.

In one side of the building.

Out the other side.

And after blowing up the secret military operation and escaping, you discover you need fuel, no problem.

004 Kalashnikov on the Stairs

Many cool moments in Bond films are fleeting and feature James shooting a weapon in an unusual way. Like the shot of 007 sliding on his belly with a machine gun from “OHMSS”, this is just one of those fun moments. They also get in a Bond style joke .

To outfox the thugs on the first floor, Bond descends the stairway in an unconventional manner, with his gun blazing.

All is well until he notices the stop at the bottom of the stairs.

Its OK though, that’s the advantage of having a machine gun.

He just shoots it and it breaks off when he gets there. Smooth James, not enough ooos in smooth.

005 James Bond loves to get it on on a train. 

Bond is notorious for traveling by train, which makes some of his fights more interesting because of the close quarters. In this film, the close quarters are replaced by a open sky.

He gets smuggles himself aboard the circus train and confronts the deadly acrobat knife throwing team that killed his 00 predecessor on this assignment.

The struggle finally ends up on the roof of the train as it travels through East Germany.

It is one of the better action sequences in the Roger Moore films.

006 The Plane Fight

Not content to have mixed it up with secondary characters on a train, he ends up having a great fight on the outside of a plane when it is in the air. Again, this was terrific stuntwork.


The blue screen work matches up pretty well with the actual stunt.

007  I love the Cold War plot.

The movie was released in 1983. The Soviet Union was in a strong strategic position with conventional weapons in Eastern Europe. American policy moved to deploy theater nuclear weapons to balance out the  advantage the Soviets had. That move was controversial and was one of the factors behind the Nuclear Freeze movement of the time. This film plays off of real geopolitics of the moment. A rogue Russian General, is planning to detonate a nuclear device on a NATO base, which will be blamed on the U.S, resulting in a withdrawal of nukes from the theater and giving the Soviets an opportunity to invade.

The general cannot convince his superiors so he finances his plot with loot stolen from pre-revolutionary art collections

octoThe smuggler “Octopussy” thinks she is moving contraband jewels, but she has been fooled by a switch to a device hidden in the cannon of the human canonball in her circus, scheduled to visit a NATO base.

No honor among thieves.

James Bond will Return in

“A View to a Kill”

 

 

Double O Countdown: For Your Eyes Only

I really liked that this movie brought James Bond back to Earth. The story is more basic, with a MacGuffan that everybody wants. The bad guys are not megalomaniac bizillionaires trying to destroy the whole planet, they are just evil spies, willing to sell out their friends for money. I also like that the film has a revenge theme that it took from the collection of short stories that this title came from. There are a couple of things that hurt it a bit, what the hell is Lynn-Holly Johnson doing in the story, and we could do without the Margaret Thatcher parody at the end. Also, the Chief of Staff Bill Tanner was Bond’s friend in the books, here he is an insufferable snob with delusions of replacing M, it may be my least favorite character in all the Bond films. Let’s not dwell on the bad however, instead, enjoy the seven best things in the film.

001 Farewell to Blofeld

Bond is interrupted in a moment of reverie at the grave of his lost bride. It is one of the few times that plot point ever comes up in the series.

 A helicopter has been dispatched to bring him back to headquarters, but low and behold, a familiar bald headed, cat stroking figure in a wheelchair seems to have taken remote control over the copter.

Because SPECTRE and Blofeld are part of the ongoing litigation with another producer, the character is never identified, but every Bond fan knows who it is supposed to be. The scene did play a bit with a comic touch but the result is a lot more satisfying than leaving the character hanging in a bathysphere while an oil rig blows up around him. Naturally 007 regains control of the copter and then turns the tables on his old adversary.

This is the sort of nasty exit we want for Earnst Stavro Blofeld. Dropped by Bond down a hole from which there will be no escape. Even hearing him plead comically with Bond doesn’t take away from the fact that Tracy’s killer has finally met his doom.

002 Castle in the Sky

After storming a space station and an underwater city in his previous adventures. Bond has to follow his enemy to a monastery on a rock that is basically a fortress in the clouds. Before Tom Cruise di all his climbing stunts in the Mission Impossible Series, James Bond was a mountain climber ahead of his time.

003 Another Shark Death Planned for 007

One more time, sharks are supposed to be the end of James Bond. This death is actually planned for Bond and Solitaire in the novel “Live and Let Die” but gets transposed to this adventure in the Aegean rather than the Caribbean.

Captured and tied up with Melina, a great Bond girl who can take care of herself.

They get yanked off of their boat and dragged across a corral reef, to bring blood and sharks

 

Of course they foil the plan and a nameless henchmen gets eaten instead.

004  Back to the Slopes.

For a guy who does not like the snow, I’m a sucker for ski sequences, and this one is pretty good, featuring a ski jumping hill and biathlon and motorcycles.

Bond lucks out as he is forced to ski down a giant slide, where at the bottom, the villainous Eric Krieger, East German Biathlon champion is waiting to shoot him. Another henchman ends up chasing Bond on the slope and Krieger does not know which figure to shoot.

 Bond flees down a cross country style slope, avoiding the killers by twisting and turning in mid air.

More henchmen on motorcycles equipped with spiked tires pursue him through the woods.

A cleverly placed ski pole managed to dismount a pursing cyclist.

And frustrated man mountain Krieger flings his motorcycle ineffectively at the escaping 007.

005 The Traditional double cross switch of allies.

Bond has believed that intelligence informer Kristatos is his ally. He has told Bond that the likely killer of his station head is a smuggler known as “the dove” who is actually a former war partisan and partner of Kristatos called Columbo.

 

In a plot point right from one of the Fleming stories, this whole tale was told at dinner and the center-pieces on the table contain a tape recorder that allows Columbo to here Bond agree to kill him. Imagine our surprise when it turns out that Columbo is the real patriot and Kristatos has been describing his own criminal actions as those of his former friend.

The delightful Topal, the star of “Fiddler on the Roof” plays Bonds new ally. Together, they take down a heroin storage warehouse in a solid action scene.

006 Sheena Easton

The Scottish chanteuse sings the title song and is the only artist to sing a title song whose image appears in the credit sequence. It’s a music video just as MTV was getting started. It also serves as commercial for the film.

007 Once more Roger Moore gets a shot at being a Badass.

The killer Locque, who Bond and Melina have pursued, is at the warehouse when Bond and Columbo make their move. He escapes in a car that travels up a steep set of switchbacks on a hill. Bond id determined to get to him and runs flat out up a series of staircases that are a more direct line to the top of the hill.

At the top, in a tunnel that the car must go through, Bond stops and takes aim.

Locque is shot in the shoulder, loses control of the car and it veers to the edge of a cliff.

Bond confronts the killer and delivers a message, returning the dove pin that Locque left on the body of Bond’s colleague.

And then, like he did in “The Spy Who Loved Me” and in “Dr. No”, Bond shows that he can be a cold blooded bastard, and the film is better for it. He kicks the car an that is the end of Lpcque.

James Bond will Return in “Octopussy”.

Double O Countdown: Moonraker

This is a tough one, there are easily seven things I hate about this movie, I’m not sure there are seven things that I like. Let’s see what I can come up with.

The summer that “The Spy Who Loved Me” opened was the same summer as “Star Wars”. EON Pictures saw the writing on the wall and they scratched “For Your Eyes Only” and rushed in a title that had “space” all over it. I think in rushing, they skimped on story and basically replicated the same plot as the last film, with space as a substitute for under the sea.

001 Shark Tank, Piranha Tank, Shark Tank, Snake Tank

Creative juices start to dry up and the Shark Tank that was featured in “Thunderball” and “Live and Let Die” and “The Spy Who Loved Me”, plus the Piranha Tank in “You Only Live Twice”, are simply updated with an Anaconda tank to fit the South American Setting. He is smart enough not to cross the pond on the bridge, but surprise!! the path tips over and drops him in anyway.

 All the beautiful women must have distracted him

Fortunately James has snake vaccine.

Unfortunately, Jaws is waiting for him, despite being dropped off a waterfall.

002 It’s no ejector seat but it will do in a pinch.

A boat chase through the Amazon and James manages to blow up some pursuers with relative ease.

 There are more boats however and after taking out a couple more, he runs out of river and into a waterfall. There is not much else to do but abandon ship in a hang glider conveniently provided in the top of his boat by Q branch.

 It’s a great way to see the jungle and accidentally discover the secret rocket base hidden in the forest.

003  Dr. Goodhead takes Bond for a ride.

All space centers have a centrifuge right? How could James turn down the opportunity to test it out, he’d look like a wimp in front of the CIA.

Fortunately, as Roger Moore is getting on in years, this device provides him with a little facelift.

004  Rio From Above

A chance to see “Christ the Redeemer” gives Bond and Dr. Goodhead a chance to ride a cable car above the city.

Of course they are not the only tourists sightseeing that afternoon.

Realizing he does not have a return ticket, Jaws decides to join James and Holly on the ride down.

Next time don’t settle for the economy tour.

005 Set Design to the Rescue

There are some clunky effects shots in the space battle, but the location is aces, with an imaginative design and practicality to much of what is shown.

Sections of the Space Station are connected with interior tubes that allow movement without having to rely on gravity boots on the floor of the station.

Fascist crazy billionaires get a chance to speak to the troops in an elegant landing that floats above them.

Plenty of parking is available for residents and visitors.

006 Hijacking the Moonraker

We had actually seen the space shuttle being transported on the back of a 747 at this point, so the opening shot fits in with contemporary visuals.

What happens next is not exactly the way it is planned by NASA.

Wait, can it do that? It doesn’t matter, it’s a cool idea to steal a space ship when you are one short.

007  Parachutes, I don’t need no stinking parachute.

The best stunt in the movie is the opening escape by Bond from being thrown out of a plane without a parachute. Several years before “Point Break” James Bond had already figured out the answer.

When Jaws tosses Bond overboard, you wonder what will happen, and then you remember the guy who went out before James did.

James maneuvers himself into position and then,

Steals himself a parachute from the other guy.

So a great stunt right? Hell, it gets better when Jaws comes after him, but when they turn the music on for Jaws landing on earth, the circus starts. They blew their wad in the opening and then stepped on the action with a comic musical joke.  And they do it for two more hours. Fortunately, James Bond returns to Earth in the next adventure.

James Bond will Return in “For Your Eyes Only”

Double O Countdown: The Spy Who Loved Me

“The Spy Who Loved Me” is Roger Moore’s best work as James Bond. The series had some humor still but did not go off the deep end until the next picture. It reworks the concept of “You Only Live Twice” pitting the Soviets and Americans against each other, this time to destroy the world so that the undersea empire of Stromberg will survive. Three nuclear submarines end up in a supertanker that was the largest sound-stage of any movie studio ever.

001 Submarines Fight World War Three inside a tanker.

002 The Pyramids Night Time Lighting Ceremony

I have no idea if this is a real thing or not, but it ought to be. Bond follows XXX to meet the mysterious seller of the tracking technology they are both after. They are not alone however, as the killer Jaws is also after the seller for a different purpose. All this takes place while the narrator of a cool light show at the pyramids keeps talking. This is the only time I ever thought about visiting Egypt.

003 Jaws

A hired killer who stands over seven feet and has steel teeth that he uses to bite the carotid artery in his victims neck. Richard Kiel played the part in two Bond films, and despite the obvious rip-off of the name from a familiar film from a couple of summers earlier, he became iconic in his own right.

Taking a bite from his namesake

His hand is as big as Bonds head. That’s pretty intimidating.

004  Speaking of Submarines

After the ejection seat of “Goldfinger” you might wonder what the Q branch would come up with for 007 to drive on assignment. Well, they out do themselves here, a high speed Lostus that doubles as a submersible,

A cool car and helicopter chase, ends with a plunge into the Corsican sea.

 Caroline Munro, B movie Queen of the era, captains the helicopter.

005 Carly Simon sings the theme song.

This tune was all over the radio in the late seventies. Some people  (Fogs) even think it is the best Bond theme. It has a polish that makes the movie feel sophisticated even when it is occasionally silly.

006 My Favorite Moment From Roger Moore as 007

Most people think of Roger Moore’s James Bond as an avuncular,  dandy who never got his nails dirty. Here is a sequence in which Moore explodes that myth. After a fight in the rooftop of an Egyptian apartment, Jaws partner, Sandor, teeters on the brink of death, grasping Bond’s tie to keep from toppling over.

 Bond questions him about the location of the arms merchant who has the submarine tracking tool for sale. As soon as he gets his answer, Bond flicks his tie.

 Down goes the bad guy, another casualty of the spy game.

Than 007 casually straightens out his tie to look good for the rest of the afternoon. Cold, James, really cold.

007 The Pre-Title Sequence

Almost everyone will agree, this was a spectacular stunt. The unfurling of the Union Jack got a standing ovation at the Royal Premier of the film attended by Prince Charles. I’ll stand up for our allies here as well. For Queen and Country James.



James Bond Will Return in: “Moonraker”

Double O Countdown: The Man With the Golden Gun

The Man with the Golden Gun is one of the lesser Bonds in my opinion, put it does have some points to recommend it and I have to admit that each time I see it, it grows on me.

001 The Kung Fu Kick gets a 007 Twist

The early Seventies were filled with Blaxpoitation and Kung Fu Movies. Since the year before, Bond had indulged in the urban drama of the gritty streets, it seems logical that Bruce Lee will not have died in vain. His legacy provides Bond wit an opportunity to don a gi and get his karate freak on. Of course in the end, the twist is that the two teen girls are the real Bruce Lees of the film.

002 The Cartoon Funhouse Shooting Gallery

At the beginning of the film, a mob assassin shows up to do in Scaramanga, but he is deposited in a strange “dark ride” environment. It makes little sense but it is visually fun and it sets up the duel between Bond and Scaramanga at the end of the film.

003 The Secret Lair

The movie has some spectacular locations, none more beautiful than the island lair of Scaramanga, supposedly located just inside Chinese territory to give him cover.

The lush background for the duel between the titans of death is also the location of a solar energy plant. And it’s not located in the California dessert just before the Nevada border.

004 A Penny Slide Whistle Ruins a Great Stunt

As complicated and dangerous as the alligator gag in the previous movie, but requiring more physics and math than most of us will ever do. AMC cars, a sponsor of the film (based on the make of most of the vehicles in Thailand) gets it’s money’s worth with an incredible 360 degree spin of a car jump. It looks great but as it happens, someone made the mistake of choosing to make it a comedy moment and they add a slide whistle sound effect to the film. It spoils the moment but not the achievement.

005 The Sun Never Sets on England (or at least English Territory)

Great Britain still controlled Hong Kong in 1974 , and in the harbor, a shipwrecked “Queen Elizabeth”, the companion luxury liner to the “Queen Mary”, lies on it’s side,a burnt out hull, or does it. MI6 apparently can’t afford the rents in Hong Kong anymore than the rest of the world, so some great set design is used to take a piece of contemporary history and turn it into a James Bond moment.

006  Francisco Scaramanga AKA Christopher Lee

With his skyscraper frame and intense eyes, he makes a perfect Bond Villain. The late Christopher Lee loos terrific in the white suits and sea island shirts that he wears in this film. He feels like he is indeed a match for James Bond.

An assassin who gets a million dollars a contract, Scaramanga also manages a business stealing technology and using it to blackmail the rest of the world. His secret weapon, well let’s just say we will be discussing this in a moment.

When he acquires the solex that turns his solar panels into energy, he also manages to turn that energy into a weapon. The golden rays of the sun become a metaphorical golden gun that he uses against

Bond’s plane.

007 The Golden Gun

My most coveted piece of Bond memorabilia. I’d love to get one of these reproductions of the clever Golden Gun that the villain uses to dispatch the objects of his contracts.

  A cigarette case, a lighter, a fountain pen and a cuff link, come together to create a deadly toy.

Just the Christmas present that anyone would be happy to recieve, hint hint, nudge, nudge.

James Bond will Return in: 

“The Spy Who Loved Me”

Double O Countdown: Live and Let Die

Enter Roger Moore for a long stay as 007. The Moore films are remembered as being light, full of humor and self depreciation, as well as being over the top. The only people for whom Moore was the best Bond are kids who first saw 007 in the 70s and fondly recall how much they enjoyed the films. Sir Roger has his moments and I think he managed to fit well with the films given their styles from that period. This is his first one, and in my opinion it was one of his best.

001   The Best Poster From any Bond Film

I did a write up a couple of years ago on the Bond Posters, and I named this as my favorite. A couple of other people shared their opinions but I’m sticking by my guns. If you want to read the whole post, click on the beautiful image below.

http://kirkhamclass.blogspot.com/2013/06/007-posters-top-ten-list.html

002   One of the Stupidest Things I Ever Did as a Kid

I had a couple of friends as a kid who were far and away crazier than I was, but I happily followed them down the path of madness. We took the shaft of pen cartridges and cleaned them out, crimped one end, put them between a bobby pin and stuffed them with sulfur from matches, creating little canons that would shoot rock salt. James Bond never did that, but… he did do this…and so did we. I’m lucky I’m not blind.

003 The Film’s Motif.

I’m going to cheat here to get in some extra elements that I like about the movie. It is full of blaxploitation, voodoo, Southern Gothic, fortune telling crazy stuff.

A guy with a claw for a hand.

Tee Hee is a big guy as well, towering over Bond. He inspires one of my favorite quips from Bond. When Bond is a prisoner and Mr. Big orders Tee Hee to take his watch so he can use the serial number to test Solitare, the henchmen fumbles with it and Bond mutters “Butterhook”.

Solitaire, the Bond Girl of the film, played by the beautiful Jane Seymour, reads the future for Mr. Big and Dr. Kananga. The voice over while Bond is traveling to the U.S. is full of foreboding fun.

I gave my daughter who is also a Bond fanatic, a deck of these cards as a Christmas gifts four or five years ago. The imagery on the cards is used in the poster and it was cleverly used by Bond to infiltrate the Mr. Big organization. He was Solitaire’s destiny by  design.

The Funeral in New Orleans as the CIA man is disposed of with a coffin made for clean up duty on the streets.

One of the themes that was kept from the original story was the way Mr. Big controls a lot of his followers through the superstitions around Voodoo. Bond’s treacherous partner Rosie, freaks out at the hat with the chicken feathers, Bond trails his suspect “Whisper” to a retail outlet specializing in the occult, and on the island that Kanaga controls, his enemies are murdered in a voodoo ritual featuring the King of the Dead Baron Samedi himself, sometimes a nightclub performer, sometimes a robot and sometimes an actual specter of doom.

004   An Amazing and Entertaining Boat Chase through the delta lands.

While it does introduce a comic supporting character that is unwisely included in a second Bond film, the boat chase should not be diminished by the presence of  Sheriff Pepper.

003 Yaphet Kotto as the Villain Mr.Big/Dr. Kananga

This wonderful actor with a distinctive pronunciation and voice, is one of the best villains in the Moore years. He has a real part and gets to play it up duringthe story, he is not some vague megalomaniac millionaire trying to destroy the world, he is simply a clever gangster who dreams big and knows how to get what he wants.

When he and Bond have their climatic fight at the end of the movie, he wields a knife like he knows how to use it. Trapped underwater (In a shark tank of course) Bond forces an anti-shark pellet down his throat.

The result is explosive.A funny and fitting end to the bad guy.

006  If They Hadn’t Done it for Real, you’d hoot at the idea.

Bond is trapped by Tee Hee on an island in the alligator farm where the heroin is manufactured. He has run out of chicken pieces to distract the gators with and must figure a way out that avoids being the main course. The exit the writers cooked up is preposterous, but the stunt was really performed on camera, live. It was dramatic, silly and a laugh that earns it an honored place on my list.

007  The Opening Titles and the Title Song

The best theme of the 007 Rock era, is played over naked women in silhouette, with fire and exploding skulls. Paul McCartney proves that post Beatles, he had the best ear for a catchy tune of all the fab four.

That’s all for now,

James Bond will Return in:

 “The Man With The Golden Gun”.

Double O Countdown: Diamonds Are Forever

This one is a little tough because it is one of the lesser Bonds. It has it’s qualities but most of them are not particularly unique so it might sound a bit familiar as we go along here. This is one of the few times in the series that a large part of the action takes place in the states, and the setting of Las Vegas was novel for the time. Bits and pieces of the era creep in and make it one of the more dated stories.

001 The Theme Song

It feels like a cheat to include the theme song in so many of my lists for this project, but Bond fanatics know that the music in the movie is one of the draws. This was a triumphant return of Shirley Bassey to the fold, and she does a silky smooth opening song that mixes electronic instruments with a great bass riff.

002 The Henchmen

If they tried this today they would be crucified. The secondary killers for Blofeld are a couple on near mincing homosexuals that are exploited for laughs more than for the danger they present. It is politically incorrect, but it was one of the first times I’d encountered a gay character in any fistion, so it was memorable to me.

Wint and Kidd are closing up the smuggling pipeline and killing all the contacts along the way. They try to get Bond a couple of times, but never manage to do a credible job of it. Mr. Wint’s perfumery cologne gives him away at the end of the film.Bond does him in with his own bomb cake and a suggestive handlock between the legs that  is another gay punchline.

At least Mr. Kidd gets a more dignified death, if you consider immolation to be superior.

003 The Double Entendres

James Bond in the movie is different from the books in a number of ways, one of which is his play with language. Although the puns and risque wordplay are tiresome in the Pierce Brosnan films, they still worked coming out of the mouth of Sean Connery.

James Bond: Weren’t you a blonde when I came in?

Tiffany Case: Could be.

James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that – whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.

Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?

James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match…

I did not get this joke in 1971, I was thirteen at the time. Years later I almost busted a gut when i heard it again.

Here is another one from the film that I did not get the first time around and now it would get a spit take from me.

“Hi I’m Plenty”

 “Plenty O’Toole”

“Named after your father perhaps.”

004  Mustang Mix Up

It is hard enough to make a movie, much less one where everything needs to be consistent. Bond and Tiffany are chased through old Las Vegas in their Red Mustang. In order to escape at one point Bond drive up a ramp, tips the car on it’s side and drives through a narrow pathway that the cops can’t follow through.

All well and good, except when he comes out on the other side, there is a slightyly odd issue with physics that needs to be explained and never is.

Exactly how does the car come out the opposite way it went in?

I’m not that picky, it was still a cool stunt.

005  Willard Whyte

Singer Jimmy Dean plays a reclusive billionaire who is kidnapped but no one knows it. Why? because he has not been seen in public for a number of years before it happens. Those of you not familiar with the history of Vegas and Howard Hughes will miss the sly references and outright theft of some of his story.

The above shot also includes frequently used character actor Shane Rimmer (You Only Live Twice, The Spy Who Loved Me, and a voice in Live and Let Die)

Like the fictional Willard Whyte, Hughes occupied the top floors of the hotels he stayed at. He actually bought the Desert Inn while living there to avoid more conflict with the management.

The best part of the story with Whyte is the Penthouse suite occupied by Blofeld. It is another gem of design from the 007

006 The Poster

One of the best posters of the series. For a complete discussion check out my post on Bond posters by clicking the image.

http://kirkhamclass.blogspot.com/2013/06/007-posters-top-ten-list.html

007 The Elevator Fight

Bond has a lot of hand to hand combat in the films. This was a unique fight because it was so brutal and it takes place in an old style open elevator. The conflict with smuggler Peter Franks has drama and a couple of black humor bits because the quarter are so close the combatants can’t get much momentum or leverage with one another.

The best sequence in an otherwise less than thrilling film.

James Bond Will Return in “Live and Let Die.”

Double 0 Countdown: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

My on-line friend Dan Fogarty, holds this entry into the 007 cannon in low esteem. He has it ranked near the bottom of the list and he lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of George Lazenby. He thought Lazenby was boring and the script is boring having Bond go undercover as a college professor. Maybe I’m a little biased, what’s wrong with that?  Anyway, this is the first, first run Bond film I saw as a kid. All of the Connery films I’d seen before this had been in re-release. I had watched enough Avengers to know who Diana Rigg was, and the idea of Bond really falling in love was a nice twist.

001  The New Blofeld

After meeting Bond in the Flesh, and Bond meeting Blofeld face to face in “You Only Live Twice” it is a little hard to figure why in continuity, they would not recognize each other when they finally meet up here. Maybe it is the fact that both characters are played by new actors. I’ll let other debate the merits and faults of Lazenby, but as for Blofeld, I think this was a step up. Instead of being a near dwarf with a scar, in this film, he is played as a vigorous man, capable of fighting on a bobsled and skiing dangerously down a mountain. Telly Savalas wins my vote as the best Blofeld that we get to see.

002 The New Bond

In the one wink to the audience, the new Bond acknowledges his situation. Sean Connery had left the series, the posters for the movie featured a faceless 007, and after the first fight, when Bond beats the bad guys but loses the girl as she drives off. He stands on the beach with her shoes in her hand and says, as he looks straight at us…”This never happened to the other fellow…“. That’s a good laugh and it is in the spirit of the films continuing on.

“This never happened to the other fellow”

003 No Title Song

For years one of my pet peeves about the movie was the lack of a title song. The Louis Armstrong vocal is a nice tune but it is buried in the plot. At some point however, I started paying attention to the theme played over the titles and guess what, it kicks ass. Those four descending notes played with electronic magic actually build a lot of excitement.





The guitar and horns complement this melody perfectly. Excellent!

004  1969 Technology



Bond breaks into a solicitors office in Switzerland to gain access to documents that might reveal Blofeld’s location. He need a safe cracker and a photocopier. Lucky for him, they come together in a single piece of equipment, unlucky for him, that equipment is the size of a shipping trunk. No problem, he arranges to have it delivered to him in the office by a construction crane and bucket from a project next door. Now, what to do while waiting for the safe cracking machine to do it’s job? Fortunately, there is reading material in the office. 

 This is a tight little sequence that build tension out of a guy coming back from lunch. It may not be a countdown on a nuclear device, but it builds some good suspense and it has a fun little payoff when 007 tears out the centerfold to take with him. 

005  The Bond Girl

Countessa Tracy Draco is played by the former Emma Peele of the Avengers British spy TV show. That catsuit she wore in the credits was enough to solidify my sexual orientation at 10 years old.  Now I was more mature and so was she. As Bond’s object of affection she was quirky, standoffish, beautiful and capable. Late in the film she fights a henchman for five minutes and thrashs him with a broken bottle and nails him against a wall. She is not a damsel in distress, so much as the type of woman Ian Fleming always said Bond would fall for, “a bird with a wing down”.

 She also rescues Bond and drives her car as well as he does in the opening scene and in the chase that is featured latere in the film. 

006  Snow Plowed

I appear to have an affinity for exotic death scenes in the Bond series. The skiing chase down the snow covered alps is the first of a long line of ski sequences in Bond films. From the looks of the trailer, Daniel Craig is about to join the list of Bonds who have used mad snow skills to defeat their enemy. In “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”, one of Bonds pursuers does not make it across the trench that a large snow plow is working on. Well before Steve Buscemi was disposed of in “fargo” we got this scene.

007 The Ice Slide

This series will be filled with brief moments that mark the series with indelible memories. My favorite from this film is James Bond, on his belly, with a machine gun blasting, sliding along the ice at Piz Gloria, where he had been curling with the bodacious beauties just a day or two before. It is the coolest image from this snowbound story. It was an improvised moment of brilliance from director Peter Hunt.

James Bond Will Return in “Diamonds Are Forever.”

Double O Countdown: You Only Live Twice

Despite the exotic setting and the lush musical theme, “You Only Live Twice” is not one of my personal favorites. It feels a little long and there are plot points that make no sense, but it does have some assets and those that I find most worthy from the film are as follows:

001

The lovely Kissy Suzuki, a Bond girl with few lines, a beautiful face and a name that only hints at being coarse.

002

In a Pre-title sequence that seems to exist only because it is cool to show, Bond gets “killed” in bed and is subsequently buried at sea.

 

003

  Not quite as cool as a shark tank, but equally gruesome to contemplate.  The evil Helga Brandt learns the fate of those who fail SPECTRE.

004

This one and the next entry could be reversed and it would be alright by me, both feature the secret lair of Blofeld. This one has Ninjas.

005

What is the best place to hide a secret rocket base in Japan… where else but in a freaking volcano. The Ken Adams design on this is marvelous and the use it was put to was extensive. Reportedly, the set cost more than all of the money spent making Dr. No.

006

Little Nellie

Q comes to Japan with a couple of suitcases and Bond wipes out the SPECTRE air force in an afternoon. The Frank McCarthy painting is spectacular

but the actual shots of the gyrocopter are pretty cool as well.

007

Finally face to face with Ernst Stavro Blofeld. After appearing in two films from only the back or chest down, the master mind behind the massive criminal cartel is revealed. A lot of Bond fans don’t care for the diminutive scarred criminal that is shown here, but the Mao Jacket and the scar go a long way in establishing an ethos for Blofeld that will be unshakable for the future. Hats off to the late Donal Pleasance.

Monologuing his way into our consciousness, while all the while petting the cat.

James Bond Will Return in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”.

Double O Countdown: Thunderball

James Bond returns in the biggest Bond film yet. If “Goldfinger” was an explosion, “Thunderball” was an earthquake. This film is the closest thing to today’s event blockbusters. It did incredible box office, broke records everywhere and set a standard of “BIG” that all the Bond films since have emulated.

001

For me as a kid, the most memorable images of ugly death from a James Bond film, came in this film.  The treacherous Angelo, operated on to resemble Derval, lands the hijacked bomber in the ocean. For his last minute demand for more money, Largo takes the opportunity to kill him by cutting his oxygen while trapped in the seat of the plane. Watching him flail and then stop was traumatic for my nightmares for years.

002

As a last minute replacement, so the opening song of the film would include the title, Tom Jones wails his heart out (and reportedly collapsed after sustaining the last note).

003

Every spy film lampoon since has used some variation of the shark tank, an original created for this film.

004

Upping the stakes and the gadgetry starts with the Jet Pack that 007 uses to escape in the pre-title sequence in this film. The artwork for the poster exceeds the actual shot which has Bond donning a helmet in the middle of the chase.

005

John Barry Rules

Maybe his greatest work for the series that he did from it’s inception to “The Living Daylights”. Here is a section of Barry Awesomeness that you can enjoy for ten minutes.

006

It goes on too long, and the setting ends up being a hindrance to the intensity of a real fight, but the underwater battle scene is the highlight of the visual moments in the film.

007

In a boardroom meeting among killers, we should expect brutality, the send up in Austin Powers is what most of today’s audiences will remeber, but my guess is after the new film opens, and the organization is revealed, there will be more respect than laughter in the audience.

James Bond will return in “You Only Live Twice”.